Hanging by a thread

During a recent workout, I was looking for upbeat worship songs. A song came on that was not as upbeat as I would have liked, but I let it play while I searched for a different song. The lyrics conveyed that even if you felt like you were hanging on by a thread, to just keep hanging on because help was on the way. 

Immediately, I was struck by the stark differences between the lyrics and the music. Here was an upbeat, happy-sounding song that a girl was belting out words that seemed like desperation. It just didn't match. Think about it - hanging your full body weight on a rope that has all of it's threads is hard enough. The ache in your shoulders, the constant readjustment of your grip as the rope rubs blisters on your hand. Now, think about how you have been holding on for so long that the rope is tearing. Little by little, the threads begin to break off, and each time, you jolt a little further down the rope with sharp pain shooting up your spine. Your core is exhausted, and it's getting harder to breathe. As you get down to one last thread, what do you do? You wrap the thread around both of your hands so that you can hang on for dear life. The tiny thread is no match for your body weight, so the force of the thread starts to cut into your hand. As you slip down slowly, the thread cuts into your skin - a paper cut times ten. 

Then, in the distance you hear an upbeat song on the radio telling you to hold on just a little bit longer. I know that's not what I would want to hear. Give me some hard rock that I can feel in my soul, and a voice shouting about the victory we are about to receive if we band together. Come alongside me and hold up my legs to ease the burden. Remind me of who I am, and whose I am, and that I was made for more, and that I can do this. 

I have been in that place with blood running down my forearms, unable to hold on much longer. 

I have also been the one holding up a friend's legs to ease the burden. 

In this season of my life, I am focusing on braiding my rope, adding threads, making it stronger to withstand the moments that I'm hanging on. 

Recently, I saw a quote from Reading the Waves: A Memoir by Lidia Yuknavitch that says this, "My body was trying to show me that I was carrying too much. Not just weight. But sorrow. Guilt. Rage. Fear. Love. Death."

So my prayer for us today are the lyrics of If I Could Have Anything by Housefires:

May I be like Mary
Open to the movements of your heart
Thank you, Jesus
Blessed in the keeping of your promise
A faithful friend of God
May I love your presence, Jesus
More than any gift you've given me
More than any crown I could receive
More than all my dreams